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.​.​.​but I have to

by Bellwether

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1.
Compromise 03:18
There’s a sign down in Oak Beach Where we carved our initials I X’d them out the other day There’s a sign down in Oak Beach Where we carved in our initials I X’d them out the other day And I must admit the view still looks beautiful without you; something isn’t the same I’ll admit I still drive past your house when I’m nearby just to see your porch light that says “She’s safe at home or she’s out with her friends” You say you’re miserable now I am too that’s the closest that we’ll get to compromise ‘Cause I’m done lying That things are fine When things aren’t fine I’ll admit I still drive past your house when I’m nearby just to see your porch light that says “She’s safe at home or she’s out with her friends” But you lie and you cheat, even if it’s with me its hard to pick you back up when you’re stuck on your knees and you can’t get enough; No, you’re never pleased so you kiss him goodnight, but in my bed you sleep yeah you kiss him goodnight, but in my bed you sleep and I can’t fuckin’ sleep Don’t call me, I won’t pick up I’ll admit I still drive past your house when I’m nearby just to see your porch light that says “She’s safe at home or she’s out with her friends” But you lie and you cheat, even if it’s with me its hard to pick you back up when you’re stuck on your knees and you can’t get enough; No, you’re never pleased so you kiss him goodnight, but in my bed you sleep
2.
Tolls 02:33
Never really been the type to play card games this is not a poker face I’m telling you straight up that I want more from you and I’ve never been an optimist I know that all we get from this is cultivating attachment for someone that we’ll have to miss This distance is consistent and it goes on longer than this fall but you just say the word my heart is down to take the toll and everything in my past says this is something I not do but that was with someone else and I was someone else too You’re going away Nothing I can say Will ever change that, not my place to do it You just live your life and I’ll go on with mine Calendar’s pinned on the next date that they align That they align But I know I know you’re not like that But I know I know I’m not like that But I know I know we’re not like that But I know I know it’s not like that But I know I know it’s not like that You’re going away Nothing I can say Will ever change that, not my place to do it You just live your life and I’ll go on with mine Calendar’s pinned on the next date that they align
3.
We broken down Again and again and again On our ride into the sunset and I’m not a mechanic But it seems that this is not a busted engine It’s just geography There’s no road left for you and me Left for you and me The clock struck twelve, it seemed timeless The star we wished on has vanished A lavish coat we can’t fit in (Can’t fit in) We’re too grown up to try and pretend Throw out your watch Tear all the clocks off of the walls I know, my timing’s always off and it’s apparent passion’s turned to habit it takes my life from me, but someone’s gotta break it The clock struck twelve, it seemed timeless The star we wished on has vanished A lavish coat we can’t fit in (Can’t fit in) We’re too grown up to try and pretend In the movies, the credits roll but we have to deal with tomorrow The clock struck twelve, it seemed timeless The star we wished on has vanished A lavish coat we can’t fit in (Can’t fit in) We’re too grown up to try and pretend
4.
“Anything to feel dead, to feel alive Anything to get yourself through the night” Has only brought you eyes more red than white Headaches that follow all your good times Coping’s not a simple science But I try... I’m still alive Every day I try to think modestly Shave my wishlist down to the things I need: More hours in my day More days in my week More words for the things I can’t bring myself to speak Coping’s not a simple science No, it’s not a simple science The days turned into Rorscach tests I choose to see what brings me rest and life began to lose its taste Digest the parts that get me through each day
5.
Roots 03:48
They cut the tree down in front of my house I watched the whole damn thing I watched the branches splinter at the concrete I watched them haul it away That tree reminded me of how things used to be Most of my memories have shriveled up got too weak and fell right off like all these fuckin' Autumn leaves I look around town familiar faces abound I guess no one got too far The chances they'll never take can be seen on their face every night spent at Tulip bars That town reminded me my friends are who they'll always be All of those memories of parking lots in the Square chased by cops It means the world to me the world to me... We tried to stay 18 for good, but time has shown we have no say. Damned if I do but I have to be honest: Our youth is fading away I didn't grow up, I just grew so damn tired I watched my friends go separate ways and grow uninspired I said "goodbye" and turned my back on my little brother and tried my hardest not to cry when I left my Mother behind

credits

released April 9, 2013

Produced by: Vinnie Caruana and Brett "Ratt" Romnes
Engineered and mixed by: Brett "Ratt" Romnes
Mastered by: Paul Miner

Bellwether is:
Desmond Zantua - Vocals
Andrew Bilder - Bass, Vocals
Nick Amalfitano - Guitar
Brian Deutsch - Guitar
Harry Corrigan - Drums, Vocals

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Bellwether New York, New York

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