After Reflection

by Bellwether

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released 18 February 2014

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Track Name: Sorry In Advance
Had myself so convinced all I’d come home to
was basking in the solitude of dimly-lit rooms
but now I’m with you, I’m overwhelmed with the fear
that I’ve got something to lose



After all the anvils fall and mirrors break
I hope that you’ll still stay
My mind and instability go hand in hand,
so sorry in advance

A month in and my neck feels broken
I’m always looking over shoulder at the door
Expecting someone to walk in
and make you doubt who you have fallen for

After all the anvils fall and mirrors break
I hope that you’ll still stay
My mind and instability go hand in hand,
so sorry in advance

What if I’m just a phase for you?
What if these mood swings never end?
I have this non-stop nightmare
of your mouth, the words
“we were better off as friends”
For all the rain clouds soon to follow
I’ll be your shelter, long as you’ll allow
‘cause all anxiety aside
You’re the sunlight to my midnight mind

After all the anvils fall and mirrors break
I hope that you’ll still stay
My mind and instability go hand in hand,
so sorry in advance

My mind and instability go hand in hand,
so sorry in advance

My mind and instability go hand in hand,
so sorry in advance
Track Name: Tolls (Acoustic)
Never really been the type
to play card games
this is not a poker face
I’m telling you straight up
that I want more from you
and I’ve never been an optimist
I know that all we get from this is
cultivating attachment for someone that we’ll have to miss

This distance is consistent
and it goes on longer than this fall
but you just say the word
my heart is down to take the toll
and everything in my past
says this is something I not do
but that was with someone else
and I was someone else too

You’re going away
Nothing I can say
Will ever change that, not my place to do it
You just live your life
and I’ll go on with mine
Calendar’s pinned on the next date that they align

That they align

But I know
I know you’re not like that
But I know
I know I’m not like that
But I know
I know we’re not like that
But I know
I know it’s not like that

But I know
I know it’s not like that

You’re going away
Nothing I can say
Will ever change that, not my place to do it
You just live your life
and I’ll go on with mine
Calendar’s pinned on the next date that they align
Track Name: Compromise (Acoustic)
There’s a sign down in Oak Beach
Where we carved our initials
I X’d them out the other day

There’s a sign down in Oak Beach
Where we carved in our initials
I X’d them out the other day
And I must admit the view
still looks beautiful without you;
something isn’t the same

I’ll admit I still drive past your house
when I’m nearby
just to see your porch light that says
“She’s safe at home or she’s out with her friends”

You say you’re miserable now
I am too
that’s the closest that we’ll get to compromise
‘Cause I’m done lying
That things are fine
When things aren’t fine

I’ll admit I still drive past your house
when I’m nearby
just to see your porch light that says
“She’s safe at home or she’s out with her friends”
But you lie and you cheat, even if it’s with me
its hard to pick you back up when you’re stuck on your knees
and you can’t get enough; No, you’re never pleased
so you kiss him goodnight, but in my bed you sleep

yeah you kiss him goodnight, but in my bed you sleep
and I can’t fuckin’ sleep

Don’t call me, I won’t pick up

I’ll admit I still drive past your house
when I’m nearby
just to see your porch light that says
“She’s safe at home or she’s out with her friends”
But you lie and you cheat, even if it’s with me
its hard to pick you back up when you’re stuck on your knees
and you can’t get enough; No, you’re never pleased
so you kiss him goodnight, but in my bed you sleep
Track Name: Roots (Acoustic)
They cut the tree down
in front of my house
I watched the whole damn thing
I watched the branches
splinter at the concrete
I watched them haul it away

That tree reminded me
of how things used to be
Most of my memories
have shriveled up
got too weak and fell right off
like all these fuckin' Autumn leaves

I look around town familiar faces abound
I guess no one got too far
The chances they'll never take
can be seen on their face
every night spent at Tulip bars

That town reminded me
my friends are who they'll always be
All of those memories
of parking lots
in the Square
chased by cops
It means the world to me
the world to me...

We tried to stay
18 for good,
but time has shown
we have no say.
Damned if I do
but I have to
be honest:
Our youth is fading away

I didn't grow up,
I just grew so damn tired
I watched my friends go separate ways
and grow uninspired
I said "goodbye"
and turned my back on my little brother
and tried my hardest not to cry
when I left my Mother behind
Track Name: Narcolepsy (3EB cover)
I'm on a train, but there's no one at the helm
And there's a demon in my brain
Who starts to overwhelm whelm whelm whelm whelm
And there it goes, my last chance for peace
You lay me down, but I get no release
And I say I, I try to keep awake
I try to swim beneath
I try to keep awake
But I, I can feel this narcolepsy slide
Into another nightmare
And there's a demon in my head who starts to play
A nightmare tape loop of what went wrong yesterday
And I hold my breath till it's more than I can take
And I close my eyes and dream that I'm awake
I try to keep awake
I try to keep awake
I try to keep awake
But I, I can feel this narcolepsy slide
Into another nightmare
I read dead Russian authors volumes at a time
I write everything down except what's on my mind
Cause my greatest fear is that sucking sound
And then I know that I'll never get back out
And there's a bone in my hand that connects to a drink
In a crowded room where the glasses clink
And I'll buy you a beer and we'll drink it deep
Because that keeps me from falling asleep I said
How'd you like to be alone and drowning
How'd you like to be alone and drowning
How'd you like to be alone and drowning
How'd you like to be alone and drowning
Still I find this narcolepsy slide slide
Into another nightmare
Keep awake, keep awake, keep awake
And I can feel this narcolepsy slide